The Colbert Report/Episode/523
Production Info |- |} |- |} The Check-In IF A CHECK-IN OCCURS, SUMMARIZE IT HERE, OTHERWISE DELETE SECTION Intro Colbert May Like Obama After All * After welcoming His Mob, Dr. Colbert reminded everyone what yesterday was: ** it was March the 4th ** the 44th day in office for Barack Obama ** the 44th president * Stephen admits he isn't an ancient gypsy woman, but he does know that any time a number is repeated that many times, something horrible happens * yesterday was no exception ** for yesterday, Dr. Colbert began to like Barack Obama! *** to their credit The Mob clapped to ward off the evil spirits * Dr. Colbert has to respect him because he bought his daughters a swing set for the South Lawn, which includes ** a climbing wall ** a tire swing ** in the back, there's a slide (so you can pretend you're the Dow Jones Index!) * With all that he's got going on, how did he put it together in just 44 days!? * Dr. Colbert has been working on one for his kids for the last 9 years ** the youngest is still lost somewhere inside it *** he's fine; they lower in sandwiches Stock Market * the opening bell now sounds like ( ) * Dr. Colbert reviewed his financial portfolio, which caught fire as soon as he opened it ** it's an improvement; last month it was filled with locusts * nothing that has been tried has worked ** not giving the banks millions ** not giving the banks billions ** not even giving the banks trillions * when none of those plans worked, the Obama Administration began scapegoating the innocents: pundits ** the first victim was Rick Santelli, who challenged Obama to put up a website allowing people to vote on whether anyone wants to subsidize the mortgages of losers * Dr. Colbert agrees that we should only subsidize winners, like AIG ** any online voting would probably wind up subsidizing dancing silhouettes * the clip showing Santelli rousing the rabble on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange became very popular ** half the people who saw it believed they were going to see the Dramatic Chipmunk * White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs (who is in the pocket of Big loser) attacked Santelli out of no where! ** Gibbs said: ::"It's tremendously important that for people, who rant on cable television to be responsible and understand what it is they're talking about." * Dr. Colbert reminds Gibbs that not only does he not have his own show on cable TV, but he also wouldn't know how hard it is to both fill a half hour and know what he's talking about! ** Dr. Colbert has it down to a science: he keeps his mouth moving in the hopes that words keep coming out: robot lesbians in Vermont want to elect gay dog mayors! * throughout the crisis, the pundits have given Obama great advice: ** Jimmy showed several clips of pundits giving great advice, such as: *** be positive *** give people encouragement *** give people incentives * Dr. Colbert believes this advice is great and believes with the right incentives, people with no jobs and no savings could get huge mortgages, with no down payments ** it's worked before SEGMENT3 *MAIN POINT/LINK **SUBLINK1 **SUBLINK2 Interview * Steven Johnson ** book: The Invention of Air: A Story of Science, Faith, Revolution, and the Birth of America **SUBLINK2 Epilogue * Dr. Colbert likes to leave The Heroes wanting more, by ending this episode with "good ..." (with the ending coming on Monday) Gallery Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Image: Official Truthy Videos * Colbert Nation Home Tube External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments